Friday, 29 March 2019

A little light relief from Brexit.

Some of my readers will be familiar with the fact that I am a Bentley owner and belong to The Bentley Drivers Club but I am also a member of the Rolls Royce Enthusiasts Club which also caters for Bentley owners.

I received the monthly RREC magazine this morning and within were the following two amusing anecdotes which I quickly copied which I hope will give a little light relief from Brexit!

Unfortunately my computer skills are so rubbish I could find no way to enlarge it sufficiently as to be able to read it properly so I have retyped it for you.


SOME LIGHT RELIEF.

Why women make better assassins.


The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing was done, there were three finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her."

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never kill my wife."

The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, so take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after another. They heard screaming, crashing and banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.

"The gun was loaded with blanks," she said. "So I had to kill him with the chair."


Steve Thomas.


WONDERFULLY BRITISH.

In a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.

"The trouble with you English is that you are too stuffy."

You set yourselves apart too much.

You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us.

Look at me; "I have a little Italian in me, a bit of Greek blood, a little Irish and some Spanish blood."

"What do you say to that?"

The Englishman lowered his newspaper and replied. "How very sporting of your mother."


Dave Brooks.




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