Sunday 31 May 2020


Due to Corvid 19 sales of cars in the UK have dropped to the same level as 1946 the year after World War Two, when the country was almost bankrupt, which has caused Jaguar to ask the Government for a £1bn loan.
Now call me a sceptical old so and so but I’m wondering why you would give them this money when due to pressure from the Government all the car manufactures are being forced to producing nothing but electric cars by 2035.
JLR Receives £500m Loan From UK Government For EV Development ...
There are only 200,000 electric cars in the UK at the moment proving how unpopular they are, the range achieved from a charge is abysmal, the Lithium for the batteries pollutes the planet, they are vastly expensive to buy and as yet no manufacturer has made a profit from selling electric cars.
Perhaps it might be better to invest £1bn in manufacturing a clean fuel for the already successful internal combustion engine, that way Jaguar can continue to make a profit and the Government would get its money back!

Friday 29 May 2020


The Dunkirk Evacuation took place from 26th May to 4th June 1940 and was an attempt to rescue as many of The British Expeditionary Force as was possible from the beaches and harbour of Dunkirk.

What you Need to Know about the Dunkirk Evacuations | Imperial War ...

In total 338,226 Allied troops were rescued from Dunkirk mainly due to the use of the Little Ships which were motor boats and cruisers which were requisitioned by the Admiralty and sailed to Dunkirk to help load the troops from the beaches where the larger ships could not go.  

Operation Dynamo: The Dunkirk Evacuation | World of Warships

Were it not for the actions of all the brave men involved I think it fair to say we would have lost the war.

Saturday 16 May 2020


On the evening of 16th May 1943 at 21.39 the 617 Squadron of Lancaster bombers left Scampton to head for the Rhur Valley to destroy the Mohne, Eder and Sorpe dams.

Dambusters raid: new book by historian MAX HASTINGS brings it to ...
The following day 17th May 1943 they returned, 53 of the 133 who left the previous evening were dead.
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

Friday 15 May 2020

The drop off in A&E attendances.

Apparently there has been a considerable drop off in attendances at A&E since the outbreak of Covid19 and the worry is that there are considerable numbers of people who are sitting at home desperately ill and too frightened to visit hospital.
A&E waiting times: really the best measure of NHS success?
Personally I’m a little sceptical about that as I can speak personally as a friend of mine had an aortic aneurysm which ruptured leaving him unconscious and effectively bleeding to death and at no time did he show reluctance to enter hospital during this medical emergency, obviously it’s a little hard to show reluctance when you’re unconscious. I’m glad to add that he survived, much against the odds and is now on the road to recovery.
I imagine this would be the case with most of the medical emergencies that have happened since the arrival of Covid 19, for faced with the decision of staying out of hospital and bleeding to death on the pavement or, taking ones chances with Covid 19 I think the decision is not that hard to make.
Perhaps, the answer to the lack of attendances has more to do with the fact that considerable numbers of us are at home doing nothing more dangerous than laying in bed late watching television where the only danger is from inadvertently falling out of bed, a situation which could be alleviated by the judicious placing of some spare pillows.
Once up and about, assuming we have made a hot beverage safely without spilling boiling water all over ourselves, something I imagine the vast majority of the population manage under normal circumstances every morning, almost with their eyes shut.
Then taking the hot beverage into one’s lounge to sit down and read a good book as long as we have taken good heath and safety measures with the hot drink we can read safely all day, as long as we don’t fall asleep and drop the heavy book on our foot we should be relatively safe.
Once upon a time the two most dangerous things in the house were the stairs and tea cosy’s and as I imagine very few people use a tea cosy nowadays we are just left with the dangers of ascending or descending the stairs.
I believe trousers have taken the place of tea cosy’s, as people tend to trip up when putting them on, not a problem for those who have placed pillows at the bedside as they should break your fall before you do any damage.
9 Lovely Knitted Tea Cosy Patterns
I would have thought by now most people are aware of the dangers posed by the stairs and take adequate care unless of course alcohol comes into the equation, but under the present situation even that can be eliminated as a considerable portion of the public drink responsibly and would have no problem with the stairs.
This however leaves us with those of us who tend not to drink in moderation, for even with excessive drinking we have the situation covered, if you are too drunk you fall asleep downstairs thereby eliminating the danger, and if you wake up and attempt the stairs you probably give up in a heap at the bottom, even those who might attempt the stairs are fairly safe as it will only be achievable by crawling or by going stair by stair on one’s bottom.
There is obviously a lot more sex going on at the moment which might account for some of the people still attending A&E but even so there can’t be that many who turn up with the story of how they happened to be naked and accidentally slipped and fell on a Coka-Cola bottle or light bulb which somehow entered their anus.
That seems to have just about covered the subject and all I can do now is offer a few words to help you stay safe, DON’T DO ANYTHING. I hope this helps!

Wednesday 13 May 2020


I have only just caught the news for today but apparently it is International Nurses Day where we are celebrating nurses on this day 12th May 1820 the birth of Florence Nightingale and quite right that we celebrate all the wonderful work that our Nurses are doing in this time of trouble.
However let’s not forget another wonderful nurse Mary Seacole who pre-dates Nightingale as she was born on 23rd November 1805.
Coronavirus: Seacole hospital 'a tribute' to BAME NHS staff - BBC News
Perhaps we could include her in this celebration and give a thought for her on the anniversary of her death on 14th May which will be Thursday of this week.

Tuesday 12 May 2020


Someone put this photo on Facebook and there was quite a difference of opinion as to whether this was a good way to travel, personally I thought it looked rather splendid.

Much better than a long haul plane, when you fancy a change from talking with others in the observation car and looking at the wonderful views, you can get up and walk the entire length of the train or go back to your compartment for a little rest before later going for dinner and then a little drinkypoo in the bar before retiring for the night.

It seems very civilised to me, although even better would be the experience of an old fashioned ocean liner, which is the same as the train but with more space, not I hasten to add one of the modern versions which look like Disneyland on Sea.

Image may contain: 1 person, sitting

However there was also the school of thought that travelling in the rather more relaxed and casually dressed modern way was a better option, what do you think?

Sunday 10 May 2020


I have written previously of my lack of ability with computers and am currently having a problem with this blog as we speak and having asked on the Blogger forum thing, I suddenly had the bright idea to ask you dear reader, for I know you are out there.

One assumes that I see my blog the same way as anyone who reads it does, so I shall explain what I see and ask if you would be so kind to reply and let me know what you are seeing.

Firstly when I open the blog I have 10 posts which are visible, one after the other down the page, none of which have a comments box displayed, it is not until you actually click on the title that the post opens up on a page of its own and then displays the comments box.


I have tried all sorts of setting to try to make the comments box show up without having to open the post up as I think it deters people from leaving comments, as I said before I'm not good with the tech side of computing, I just do the writing!

Bletchley Park | The National Museum of Computing

Would any of you out there who have experienced this problem and know how to fix it be kind enough to leave a comment with details of how to fix it in the box, assuming you can find it!

Bearing in mind I have posted a picture of the first computer at Bletchley Park to give you an idea of my computer skills, so if you could keep it simple I would be extremely grateful, imagine you are talking to an idiot. Thank you. 


With all the VE Day celebrations I came across this from the wonderful Spike Milligan a very amusing man.

Image may contain: possible text that says '"My grandfather brought down 3 Messerschmitts and 2 Heinkels during the Battle of Britain -he was undoubtedly the worst mechanic in the Luftwaffe." Spike Milligan'

Friday 8 May 2020


I must say what a splendid job some people have done in decorating their houses in honour of the 75 year VE Day celebrations, which makes my little tribute look rather paltry but as you can see from the photo even if I had emblazoned the house with bunting it would still be hardly noticeable from the road.  As they say, it’s the thought that counts.


VE Day celebrations – Mayfield Festival of Music and the Arts

Thursday 7 May 2020

Fxxk off Keir Starmer.

I happened to catch Prime Ministers question time on the evening news today and was wondering if the press and the Opposition were quite so hostile to Winston Churchill during World War Two, or did they all pull together for the benefit of the country?
Boris Johnson speaks during Prime Minister’s Questions in the House of Commons on Wednesday
Personally I don’t think I could have the sort of willpower displayed by the Prime Minister who one imagines is doing his absolute best to deal with the awful coronavirus situation, having indeed come close to death himself.
I’m sure if I was asked the sort of annoying and inane questions he has been asked I would have resorted to answering as follows; “any idiot can stand there and ask this nonsense with the benefit of hindsight, why don’t you fxxk off you annoying little shit, I’m doing my best!

Wednesday 6 May 2020


Sadly Professor Neil Ferguson has resigned as he has broken the rules of lock down which he himself designed by allegedly meeting his married lover in his house.
Coronavirus: Top government scientist Neil Ferguson resigns from ...
One has to feel sorry for the poor chap who will no doubt be held to ridicule for unfortunately being the man who proves yet again that an erect penis has no conscience.

Friday 1 May 2020


Here are three of my works which were previously selected for THE SHORT OF IT, should you feel like submitting pieces here is the link with instructions on how to do so.
A man entered the bar,
He appeared to be moving like a sailing boat,
tacking against the wind.
With trouser belt above the waist, he stopped,
swayed back upon his heels,
and taking first position in a dancey sort of way,
he did a little plié.
He ordered a pint of snakebite, a Guinness,
and a crème de menthe,
then having downed the lot he proceeded to sing,
from the La Marseillaise.
Pulling down his trousers, like a man possessed
he waved his bits about,
and bending down to touch his toes he struck a match,
and lit a massive fart.
A blue flame shot all the way across the bar,
causing scorching damage.
The crowd erupted in spontaneous applause,
and cheers of joyous laughter.
Then it seemed almost in the blinking of an eye,
he had disappeared.
The man had left the bar.
Pay attention boy!
I entered a competition to write some prose and duly sent in my entry whereupon I received a reply saying I should have sent three, which reminded me of my school days which were spent mostly looking out of the window daydreaming.
The teacher would gain your attention by throwing a heavy wooden board rubber at your head which would land with a crack and bring a tear to your eye, on reflection I’m amazed more boys didn’t suffer from concussion.
It was the norm in those days for the teachers to have carte blanche to inflict any number of corporal punishments from a slap across the knuckles with a ruler, a whack on the bottom from a size 11 plimsoll to the full-blown six of the best with a bamboo cane.
The strangest thing though was having to say, “thank you Sir” after being beaten.
Happy days!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012 | survivingthemadhouse

It could always be worse!
My life of late has not been great,
I’ve had an awful time.
My wife has left, the kids gone too,
I don’t know what to do.
This tale of woe began a year ago,
when I sadly lost my job.
No money left to pay the bills,
I foolishly turned to crime.
How hard I thought to rob a house,
I’ll try the one next door.
I dressed in black and took a sack,
in which I put the swag.
They say that crime it doesn’t pay
and sadly, they are right.
For now, I’m serving thirteen months,
in a dingy prison cell
I must say life inside is not all bad,
for I’m now a prison wife.
He’s not perhaps my ideal mate,
but in here you don’t say no.
If I behave, I’ll be out soon and
make sure I don’t come back.
Decoding the Classic Burglar Outfit - Atlas Obscura