A BLOGGING SLUMP.

I was reading a post on the Drizzle and Hurricane Books blog about a blogging slump and suggestions for ideas to keep your blog fresh which was most useful as I too have been slowing down with my posts, due to the lack of anything happening, or being reported in the world.

In my reply I suggested I might just copy and paste it as a post for today as I want to get on with my book, I know it’s cheating but I have posted a link to Drizzle and Hurricane so you can have two blogs to read today for the price of one!

How to deal with a blogging slump

It would be nice if the TV news reported something other than Coronavirus for I’m sure there are other things to report, personally I have slowed down blogging as I’m concentrating on writing a book which I’d like to get finished before the end of the lock down. The shock of having the freedom to go out again, to take my classic cars for a run, to meet friends etc might be too much temptation and enjoying myself may take precedent over finishing the book. Unfortunately Mr Donald Trump is a constant source of material for a blog post although having to watch him on television is exceedingly painful, I expect he might be easier to watch once he learns to read. I could cheat and just copy this reply and use it as a post!

FAKE NEWS OF THE DAY NO 11!

I haven’t done a FAKE NEWS story for a little while but was prompted to do so by Mr Donald Trumps ridiculous suggestion that we should inject disinfectant to kill Coronavirus, I have to say this man has proven himself to be a dimwit on numerous occasions and now his latest hair brained scheme has ended in tragedy.

It seems Mr Trump injected himself with Nitroglycerin, an unstable explosive liquid in an attempt to kill the deadly virus and sadly while travelling in the Presidential limousine they hit a speed hump with tragic consequences, it is reported that all those aboard have been blown to smithereens.

That is the end of the FAKE NEWS for today and with that I hand you back to the studio.

THE PRESIDENTIAL BRIEFING.

I am getting sick to death of the British television news, especially Her Majesty’s British Broadcasting Corporation breaking their reports to listen to the rambling nonsense spouted by Mr Donald Trump.

What is the point in having to listen to the wittering of this awful man who seems barely able to read let alone form a coherent sentence, except; As some of you may know, I write children’s stories and am always looking for new ideas to write about and having never written a Fairy Story I thought I might manage to obtain a transcript of Mr Trump’s daily briefing and use that as a plot for the book.

I shall call the book, Mr Trump and the Corona Fairies at the bottom of his garden.

SIR STIRLING MOSS.

I wanted to pay my own little tribute to the racing legend Sir Stirling Moss and to say thank you for the many happy hours we spent watching you race at the Goodwood Revival over the years.

Whilst never having watched Stirling race when he was competing professionally, (I was too young) he was accepted as the best driver never to have won the World Championship.

From 1955 to 1961 he was runner up four times and third on three other occasions and was famous for winning the 1955 Mille Miglia with Dennis Jenkinson reading the pace notes.

Ironic, perhaps that the crash that ended his career in April 1962 should have been at Goodwood, the very circuit where he gave so much pleasure to spectators after the end of his professional career.

Thank you for the pleasure you gave us. RIP Sir Stirling Moss.

FAKE NEWS OF THE DAY NO 10!

The FAKE NEWS of the day today concerns the petrol price war between Saudi Arabia and Russia and the glut of oil which they have flooded the market with causing petrol prices to plummet.

I went out today for my daily exercise on my trusty bicycle and came across this on a local garage forecourt.

I know many an owner of classic cars who are now champing at the bit longing to take advantage of these extremely low prices and take their beautiful cars for a spin, although I can’t imagine that they will remain at four shillings, four and a ha’penny for long.

That is the end of the FAKE NEWS for today and with that I hand you back to the studio.

FAKE NEWS OF THE DAY NO 9!

Today’s FAKE NEWS, China has ceased the lock down in Wuhan allowing some 11 million people back on the streets, stating there have been no new cases reported and all is well.

The official figures were.

Confirmed    81,802

Recovered    77,279

Died                 3,333

The official Chinese figures for the country state that there have been 81,802 confirmed cases of Coronavirus and 77,279 have recovered but sadly 3,333 have died. These figures seem remarkably small for a country with an estimated population of 1.44 billion people and what makes matters even worse is their rather shabby arithmetic, or lack of accurate figures.

If you add the figures for the dead and the recovered you get a figure of 80612 which is a shortfall of 1190 who it seems have been confirmed but have neither died nor recovered, who therefore still have the virus. This is like one of those school maths questions; If it takes three Chinese men to dig a grave how many does it take to dig 1190.

To present the figures as so many confirmed, recovered and dead and not mention those who one assumes still have it and are fighting for their lives seems a little like creative accounting, the figures don’t seem to add up correctly or to put it another way; “to lose one is unfortunate but to lose 1190 seems like carelessness.”

I hope that when they release the 11 million people of Wuhan province these 1190 people don’t come out with them, especially as they seem to have resumed air flights too.

That is pretty much the end of the FAKE NEWS of today and I hand you back to the studio with the old saying ringing in my ears; “I WOULDN’T TRUST THEM AS FAR AS I COULD THROW THEM!

FAKE NEWS OF THE DAY NO 8.

I was just thinking about a possible FAKE NEWS conspiracy theory concerning Coronavirus and the forthcoming Pink Moon scheduled for 8th April.

Could it be that Coronavirus was brought to the Earth by aliens and they intend to invade on the forthcoming date in April?

STOP IT, STOP IT, I’M GETTING A LITTLE BIT TOO STIR CRAZY HERE. IF I CARRY ON LIKE THIS MUCH LONGER THEY WILL BE ASKING ME TO PUT A SHIRT ON BACK TO FRONT AND CARTING ME AWAY!! CALM DOWN MAN, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, IT’S JUST FAKE NEWS.

This is the end of the FAKE NEWS for today and with that I hand you back to the studio.

STAY AT HOME!

It seems people have been going out again and breaking the current Government Coronavirus rules on keeping safely apart and not gathering together in groups.

If you continue to act like children and spoil it for the rest of us, it will only be a matter of time before we have a complete enforced lock down.

DO NOT ACT LIKE CHILDREN OR YOU WILL BE TREATED LIKE CHILDREN.

FAKE NEWS OF THE DAY NO 7!

FAKE NEWS of the day today concerns the story of vast numbers of the public breaking the rules of the UK Government  and rushing out to congregate in public places.

Apparently the parks and public places are full of people socialising and others gathering in family gardens to have barbecues with relatives and friends.

Sorry, news just in we have made a mistake this is not a true story this is indeed FAKE NEWS, this story is not due to take place until the weekend when the weather is going to be considerably warmer.

STAY AT HOME, SAVE THE WORLD.

This is the end of the FAKE NEWS for today and with that I hand you back to the studio.

FAKE NEWS OF THE DAY NO 6!

I’m a little confused today as to what the FAKE NEWS actually is but I will just present the facts as best I can and leave it up to you to decide who is telling the truth.

The Government have said they are doing their best to secure ventilators and testing kits and all the necessary paraphernalia that goes with them to save the lives of patients and staff alike and I must say I’m inclined to think they are telling the truth.

Surprisingly all I seem to see from the press of this country is criticism of the Governments actions suggesting there are plenty of these articles readily available and we should have them by now.

It seems to me that the only way we can tell who is telling the truth or who is writing FAKE NEWS is to offer a challenge to the British Press as they can easily afford to take up my suggestion.

To the British Press I say, if this equipment is as readily available as you make out YOU GO OUT AND BUY THE RUDDY STUFF AND PROVE IT!!

That is the end of the FAKE NEWS for today and with that I hand you back to the studio.

FAKE NEWS OF THE DAY NO 5!

Due to the current lock down situation garden centres all over the country are in danger of losing all their current stock of plants worth hundreds of thousands of pounds, this being their busiest time of the year.

Sadly with no staff to look after the plants considerable numbers of them will die from neglect, however quite a large proportion of them have caught Coronavirus and evolved into massive man eating triffids and are roaming the country looking for victims, the police have warned that should you see one you should run for your life.

That is the end of the FAKE NEWS for today and with that I hand you back to the studio!